Bravely

I often think about
Where do I begin to embrace myself?
At the same time I also ask myself why do I need to?
But in the same vein the answer to that is because
many a time I was able to let myself be shaken by
what other people thought I was

I had no real faith in myself
In the person I had become
but that as well is not true
I could not have been wandering around in aimless existence all this time
Or could I?

Nah.....
I had purpose
but
I can't remember what it was
Else I probably do
Then
Where did it go to?
Why had I allowed myself to be clouded?

The simple answer, without going into details was that I trusted to easily.
I trusted when I should have been cautious.
I trusted when I should have acknowledged the red flags
Thus began the undermining of my own being
And by my own hand

But it is done
It is the past
What is left is left
And most importantly
I am alive to tell the tale
And I can still move forward

I must say
It is not easy
Separating the truth from the lies
Existing in a world where you can't trust anyone
But it teaches me how to be stronger
From the inside going out

Many times, I've asked questions about why I could be betrayed
By people I trust
By even who I loved and claimed to love me
But that is a downward spiral to despair and mental muddle
We don't want to be there
It is a place of misery

I have taken my time
for the dust to settle
and even so
Taken time to reconnect myself to the things that give me strength
That inspired my faith 
For these things are the core truth of my being
My purpose

Thus
I move forward
The process is not easy
Sometimes I think I move forward
Only move back
But I still keep moving 
To heal
One moment at a time
One heartbeat at a time
Knowing that I have purpose and reason
That above all else
In the midst of fear
I will embrace whatever may come
I will stand up for my beliefs
And that to understand and be at peace
I must trust myself
I must love myself
Forward I move
and Bravely I go