Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Still Learning

I know so much
Yet my actions deceive my mind
I hold on when I should let go
I persist when I should give space

How I wish that I would have acted better
How I wish that I hadn't become enveloped by my own emotions
In hindsight I see wisdom
In hindsight the truth is ever so clear

Yet now I can save nothing
The time has gone and the ship has sailed
All I can do is learn 
Learn from my past

I asked God to teach me to love unconditionally
And he has given me the lessons to learn
I thought that I could have remained in a relationship for it to happen
And I could have
But I didn't give myself and my partner the space
We needed that

Kahlil Gibran spoke about standing like the pillars of the temple
I do have and hold the regret that I didn't live this wisdom
Perhaps I had to lose to learn
And let go and forgive myself for the loss all the same
For holding on to anything in life is the surest way to imprison ourselves
And kill anything we love

Love's path isn't smooth and has ever been one of learning
It is a path of surrender instead of fighting
Of release rather than possession
Love's path is the freedom to be

The nurturing of one's own love
Like and eternal flame within
To be shared with the world
But never diminished and extinguished despite life's trials

Admittedly the humanity of it all 
Is a daily process
And your self love will be tested
For life in living demands that you face what you need to overcome 
for you to grow, for your soul to soar. 

My task now is to let go with love
Holding no more onto pain, 
to anger 
nor thoughts of what may have been

My task is to let go of the lies 
That I told myself were true
To unlearn with love
To be reborn in my own skin
Letting my light shine first and foremost

And it is a task
Because I am human
And I still feel
God is in me but I am not as strong 
Yet I will be
I will be able feel the pain after loss
And with grace accept why what I cared about has left
Trusting what will come next
Loving myself and others to know that life is short
And that we are not meant to be here forever
But to give as much love to this world before it's our time to leave.