Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I Dive, I Dive

There seems to be no right or wrong
My brain is like the muddled water in a disturbed pond
I seek a closure
From this exposure
Some form of understanding 
From this doubt demanding
While my heart stays numb
And my soul in tears

I put so much hope into us
and the bliss dissipates to ashes and dust
Maybe I thought you could understand me
And teach me what it means to love
Maybe I hoped that you could forgive me
and help me to leave my past behind and rise above

I fought so much of my confusion for so long
To keep my heart unaffected and remain
But words cut like a blade
With my memory stained
I became defeated by you
Feeling imperfect, unforgiven and worthless 
how could I hope to stay
how could I hope to stay

But I'm still here
Drenched in the memory of you
Soaked to the bone
My heart and my soul yearn for you
I have made you all I know
My thoughts of you are all I know
I have no comfort in anything
No solace to find
I'm spiralling and losing myself
Why did this go wrong?
Why am I wrong?
Why am I alive?
I dive
I dive
I hope one day you can understand
I hope I can live and survive
Dive, Defeated, Die?
Live, Love, Endure, Survive.....