Tuesday, April 16, 2013

This Memory and This Moment

There's a storm in my heart
A longing inside
It rips all fear apart
I can no longer hide

These feelings so strong
From an intimate dance shared
Swaying and swooning in each other's embrace
In that moment the world stood still
They stopped and stared

At us two who were just in our moment
That quenched our own thirsts within
A soulfelt affection
It was blissful to feel this way again

The night it ended
And the connection fades away
I'm left in the memory
How I wish you could stay

But All I have is the memory
And how it made me feel
My heart is awake
Enough for now has been revealed

I can be sad now
But no tears shall I shed
For in that moment I had something real
In that moment I became alive again


I retrace my steps to the moment
Walking forward 
backwards through time 
To the time when 
this emotion was peace to me
To the union that was divine

She was in that moment my all
And my love unconditional flowed
I became the peace in her turbulence
Giving hope to her falling world

I thought my heart inexhaustible
I believed my soul strong
But in giving I could not entirely shield myself
My faith wavered, and so I began to fall

I may have been falling ever since
But now I have reached the ground
I know now that this was part of my journey
A lesson and test in love

That love is a decision 
Not only an emotion we feel
And although the feeling is not mutual
It doesn't mean it's not real

That we should give without fear
but also know when we should let go
Because not everyone is meant for us
That's just the way life goes

Easier said than done
but it's how we get to grow and become wise
to be strong for those who come after us
so that we give them part of our light

So from walking back I move forward now
I begin ascend from where I fell
To continue each day to love
And rise above 
To hope and believe again

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

From Embers to Flame

blow the embers
but blow them ever so gently
the twigs and tinder surround
their affection can ignite desire 
in this dormant but beating heart

you blow
filling your lungs deeply 
when breathing
eyes closed 
on your knees
for to call to love is to pray
making your lips to kiss when you're exhaling

cup your hands over the flame
how its grows as it warms your soul
love it grows when you add your trust to the fire
for desire and passion only last so long

faith's gentle breeze now dances 
even when the doubtful night surrounds
in the flames 
love is found
you are at peace
you are sound

Thursday, April 4, 2013


I often think about
Where do I begin to embrace myself?
At the same time I also ask myself why do I need to?
But in the same vein the answer to that is because
many a time I was able to let myself be shaken by
what other people thought I was

I had no real faith in myself
In the person I had become
but that as well is not true
I could not have been wandering around in aimless existence all this time
Or could I?

I had purpose
I can't remember what it was
Else I probably do
Where did it go to?
Why had I allowed myself to be clouded?

The simple answer, without going into details was that I trusted to easily.
I trusted when I should have been cautious.
I trusted when I should have acknowledged the red flags
Thus began the undermining of my own being
And by my own hand

But it is done
It is the past
What is left is left
And most importantly
I am alive to tell the tale
And I can still move forward

I must say
It is not easy
Separating the truth from the lies
Existing in a world where you can't trust anyone
But it teaches me how to be stronger
From the inside going out

Many times, I've asked questions about why I could be betrayed
By people I trust
By even who I loved and claimed to love me
But that is a downward spiral to despair and mental muddle
We don't want to be there
It is a place of misery

I have taken my time
for the dust to settle
and even so
Taken time to reconnect myself to the things that give me strength
That inspired my faith 
For these things are the core truth of my being
My purpose

I move forward
The process is not easy
Sometimes I think I move forward
Only move back
But I still keep moving 
To heal
One moment at a time
One heartbeat at a time
Knowing that I have purpose and reason
That above all else
In the midst of fear
I will embrace whatever may come
I will stand up for my beliefs
And that to understand and be at peace
I must trust myself
I must love myself
Forward I move
and Bravely I go 

Tuesday, April 2, 2013


Let us look closer
Let us look into our hearts
Let us touch our souls in this moment
It feels like I've known you from the start

Flowing into this kiss
While our arms and hands soothe in embrace
Let the walls we put up fall down
For making love begins with grace

The tingling sensations we share
Bodies trembling in anticipation
Enveloped in this yearning
We grow towards satisfaction

Now as one we share
What these bodies have not given before
Where heaven and earth meet
Our passions want nothing more

The sweet perfume of bliss
And the deep gaze we share with our eyes
There is no other emotion but this
This love is no surprise

Monday, April 1, 2013

We are Enough

Loss comes so suddenly sometimes
In most ways it comes as death
in almost other instances
the breaking of a heart from the loss of a friend
the loss of a kindred spirit, a lover

It is an inevitability of life
And there is no manual for dealing with it
All of us cope differently
We talk, we cry, we keep it inside,
We write, we sing, go on drives
All in an effort to understand
For closure
For us to move on

Because we are alive
And for us to do that
We need to have clarity
But there are times we don't get that
Mostly we don't
It may come a month, 6 months or years later
And because we want to hear it from the person who's gone
From their lips
or by God's grace their angel

Life is as such though
that we must live and move on
Despite the absence of this
In the meantime
what do we do?
How do we move on?
I don't have all the answers
But we need to start by
forgiveness for them and for ourselves
For whatever was said or unsaid
Done or undone

Holding on will only keep us in a cycle
A cycle with a downward spiral
Where we shouldn't be
We are meant to move forward
And letting go
Accepting ourselves
Loving ourselves
Enough to forgive them and ourselves to set us free

Their loss is not our fault
We blame ourselves
But it is not our fault
Neither is it theirs
For we know not everything that may affect them
and their parting
And that is why we should seek the serenity to let go
of our hurt
and of them

Memories will always be there
But we need to accept them
the good and the bad
learn from them
and move on
For doing any other thing will not add value to us

Let us value ourselves
For we are alive
We are this moment
And more importantly
We are enough
If were were not enough to be on the earth
God would not have put us here

Let us love ourselves and forgive
For although the past is gone
We are enough to be here now
We are enough to move forward
For we are love
We are life and alive

Be not afraid

Love thyself, be not afraid
Look into thy heart
Go forth be brave

Trust your mind
That forward life must go
Embrace your heart to let go of the past
So life would flow

Open your being to God
Ask him to help guide the pieces into place
Despite the turbulence around
Love will give you grace