Present

Being present in my mind now
With all that I face and feel
I know now what to let go of
I know what is real

I must let go of doubt
Pain and all the forms of fear
That cloud my heart and mind
I must face them with courage
and understand their nature to find

Where my strength and faith lay within my soul
Love is a power stronger than all
Anger can only betray our hearts
By its venom we all will fall

Jealousy reflects our lack of trust in ourselves
And the peace we have within
I know now to be patient with myself
And Love myself if I truly want to Live.

When

For all in this world becomes clear
When the being chooses love over fear
When the spirit hopes, rather than be in despair

When we trust ourselves
More than doubt
When we know
Instead of overthinking to figure out

Let our choice be happiness
For ourselves and those who with us abide
Let our choice be to live
And not to hide

For we are born of light
And it is the light we are born to impart
For the light is our happiness
And the happiness the unconditional love in our heart

God and Goddess

A confessed love too quickly
This maze of emotions sway me

Searching to rationalize what she said
I know the truth but so much tumbles in my head

I am happy and a bit sad
walking this line I have

For she’s my friend and my guide
Beautiful, strong, vulnerable and wise.

She’s a woman, a goddess, not yet realised
She will be all she needs for herself, her true love she will find

She speaks to me, a man, a god yet to be
She  said “Don’t rush into love,  give only who show they are worthy.”

Not many women who call themselves my friend have given this advice
How blessed am I that she has been able to give of her heart of hearts and this wisdom provide

I can see why my confession was rushed
The god saw the goddess and gave their love and trust.

But our bodies and minds still hesitant and afraid
I offer a prayer to wait and be brave

Who knows if she may be my soul mate, or a kindred spirit in life
I believe we were friends in incarnations before
I believe all will be revealed in time

When do you know.....

When do you know...
What is it that turns this knowledge wise...
What sets it apart from the rest of times. ...
Can you step back and look with unclouded eyes?

How do you know?...
Is it the way you look into her eyes. ...
The way she's close to you and you realise...
She is the only one in this world. ...
No one can take her place by your side. .....
                                         
My soul it whispers her name and smiles....
My heart is so proud it sings...
There is no doubt in my mind...
My body unwinds. ...
And I am alive... but not head over heels.....
Love flows so naturally. .. I don't need to be healed...for this love is real.

When do you know?....It's when you decide.

Sometimes I type the words only to erase

I wonder what truly matters

Although I truly know already
Because we are all born knowing
One way or another

We know because we hesitate
And think about our actions
At least the sane ones do

And this hesitation comes from our own learning
and creation of barriers that hold us 

 They often start without
And works its way within

We all start off, conceived in knowing
Conceived in love
But in our birthing and baptism
We are forced to learn away from the truth of this knowing
The truth of our souls

But in us,
for us who are not inclined to follow
Always burn questions
Thus we seek to learn the answers
And unlearn the untruth

But this is a struggle in a world of lies
A world of flies
And so many have died
in blissful unknowing
With the blood from their soul flowing

I do not wish to be in that comfort of many
For I would not want to die
To die
Living a lie

Letting Go.......

Travelling on flow and fantasy,
Floating,
Embracing the light as the sun shines.

Just letting go,
For what I held onto was unnecessary.
Letting go, 
Because opening up was the better way to find...

All that needed to be found, 
without seeking after.
And opening up,
Meant not being afraid any longer. 

So I am open and unafraid,
The light shines out coming in.
Letting go...
For my own life to begin. 

Untitled

I could feel the fear rise and subside
As if it were breath, In and out
To understand it was to understand  myself
What was my love, what was my doubt

And the more I was in silence with myself
And prayed
Questions became answers
And I was no longer slave

To self-doubt ,fear
and the dark
I was born to embrace myself
the light, faith, hope and love
from the depths of my heart

At the Dawn of the Morn

At the dawn of the morn
I slipped back into sleep
To dream a dream of you
Your love I feel through
And through

I’m in spaces and places
That I’ve never been before
You call me softly into yours
And  kiss with a passion so pure
So sure

And time stands still once again
Doubts that lingered
Melted away
You were here now,

Our embrace renewed 

Our soul old vow

And as fleetingly as the dream came
My consciousness pulled me back
I wish I could have remained
But I’m left to find you
On this earthly plane

The sun glows through the curtains
And unwillingly I awake
One day we will come upon each other
One day we can have a chance at together

As the Lightning Danced Across the Sky

As the lightning danced across the sky
The melody of her voice swirled around me
Calmed and soothed by her softness
Enchanted by her Beauty

In that moment time stood still
Lost in her eyes
As the lightning danced
Danced across the sky

The flower of my soul
After so long has unfolded
The wall I put up
Broken down and melted

I rise and I fall
I'm awake, I'm alive
I thought I died once before
But my heart did survive

She sings 
and my being soars
What soul can ask for more

This Memory and This Moment

There's a storm in my heart
A longing inside
It rips all fear apart
I can no longer hide

These feelings so strong
From an intimate dance shared
Swaying and swooning in each other's embrace
In that moment the world stood still
They stopped and stared

At us two who were just in our moment
That quenched our own thirsts within
A soulfelt affection
It was blissful to feel this way again

The night it ended
And the connection fades away
I'm left in the memory
How I wish you could stay

But All I have is the memory
And how it made me feel
My heart is awake
Enough for now has been revealed

I can be sad now
But no tears shall I shed
For in that moment I had something real
In that moment I became alive again

Forward

I retrace my steps to the moment
Walking forward 
backwards through time 
To the time when 
this emotion was peace to me
To the union that was divine

She was in that moment my all
And my love unconditional flowed
I became the peace in her turbulence
Giving hope to her falling world

I thought my heart inexhaustible
I believed my soul strong
But in giving I could not entirely shield myself
My faith wavered, and so I began to fall

I may have been falling ever since
But now I have reached the ground
I know now that this was part of my journey
A lesson and test in love

That love is a decision 
Not only an emotion we feel
And although the feeling is not mutual
It doesn't mean it's not real

That we should give without fear
but also know when we should let go
Because not everyone is meant for us
That's just the way life goes

Easier said than done
but it's how we get to grow and become wise
to be strong for those who come after us
so that we give them part of our light

So from walking back I move forward now
I begin ascend from where I fell
To continue each day to love
And rise above 
To hope and believe again

From Embers to Flame

blow the embers
but blow them ever so gently
the twigs and tinder surround
their affection can ignite desire 
in this dormant but beating heart

you blow
filling your lungs deeply 
when breathing
Inhaling
eyes closed 
on your knees
for to call to love is to pray
making your lips to kiss when you're exhaling

cup your hands over the flame
how its grows as it warms your soul
love it grows when you add your trust to the fire
for desire and passion only last so long

faith's gentle breeze now dances 
even when the doubtful night surrounds
in the flames 
love is found
you are at peace
you are sound

Bravely

I often think about
Where do I begin to embrace myself?
At the same time I also ask myself why do I need to?
But in the same vein the answer to that is because
many a time I was able to let myself be shaken by
what other people thought I was

I had no real faith in myself
In the person I had become
but that as well is not true
I could not have been wandering around in aimless existence all this time
Or could I?

Nah.....
I had purpose
but
I can't remember what it was
Else I probably do
Then
Where did it go to?
Why had I allowed myself to be clouded?

The simple answer, without going into details was that I trusted to easily.
I trusted when I should have been cautious.
I trusted when I should have acknowledged the red flags
Thus began the undermining of my own being
And by my own hand

But it is done
It is the past
What is left is left
And most importantly
I am alive to tell the tale
And I can still move forward

I must say
It is not easy
Separating the truth from the lies
Existing in a world where you can't trust anyone
But it teaches me how to be stronger
From the inside going out

Many times, I've asked questions about why I could be betrayed
By people I trust
By even who I loved and claimed to love me
But that is a downward spiral to despair and mental muddle
We don't want to be there
It is a place of misery

I have taken my time
for the dust to settle
and even so
Taken time to reconnect myself to the things that give me strength
That inspired my faith 
For these things are the core truth of my being
My purpose

Thus
I move forward
The process is not easy
Sometimes I think I move forward
Only move back
But I still keep moving 
To heal
One moment at a time
One heartbeat at a time
Knowing that I have purpose and reason
That above all else
In the midst of fear
I will embrace whatever may come
I will stand up for my beliefs
And that to understand and be at peace
I must trust myself
I must love myself
Forward I move
and Bravely I go 

Let

Let us look closer
Let us look into our hearts
Let us touch our souls in this moment
It feels like I've known you from the start

Flowing into this kiss
While our arms and hands soothe in embrace
Let the walls we put up fall down
For making love begins with grace

The tingling sensations we share
Bodies trembling in anticipation
Enveloped in this yearning
We grow towards satisfaction

Now as one we share
What these bodies have not given before
Where heaven and earth meet
Our passions want nothing more

The sweet perfume of bliss
And the deep gaze we share with our eyes
There is no other emotion but this
This love is no surprise

We are Enough

Loss comes so suddenly sometimes
In most ways it comes as death
in almost other instances
the breaking of a heart from the loss of a friend
the loss of a kindred spirit, a lover

It is an inevitability of life
And there is no manual for dealing with it
All of us cope differently
We talk, we cry, we keep it inside,
We write, we sing, go on drives
Anything
All in an effort to understand
For closure
For us to move on

Because we are alive
And for us to do that
We need to have clarity
But there are times we don't get that
Mostly we don't
It may come a month, 6 months or years later
And because we want to hear it from the person who's gone
From their lips
or by God's grace their angel

Life is as such though
that we must live and move on
Despite the absence of this
In the meantime
what do we do?
How do we move on?
I don't have all the answers
But we need to start by
forgiveness for them and for ourselves
For whatever was said or unsaid
Done or undone

Holding on will only keep us in a cycle
A cycle with a downward spiral
Where we shouldn't be
We are meant to move forward
And letting go
Accepting ourselves
Loving ourselves
Enough to forgive them and ourselves to set us free

Their loss is not our fault
We blame ourselves
But it is not our fault
Neither is it theirs
For we know not everything that may affect them
and their parting
And that is why we should seek the serenity to let go
of our hurt
and of them

Memories will always be there
But we need to accept them
the good and the bad
learn from them
and move on
For doing any other thing will not add value to us

Let us value ourselves
For we are alive
We are this moment
And more importantly
We are enough
If were were not enough to be on the earth
God would not have put us here
 
Let us love ourselves and forgive
For although the past is gone
We are enough to be here now
We are enough to move forward
For we are love
We are life and alive

Be not afraid

Love thyself, be not afraid
Look into thy heart
Go forth be brave

Trust your mind
That forward life must go
Embrace your heart to let go of the past
So life would flow

Open your being to God
Ask him to help guide the pieces into place
Despite the turbulence around
Love will give you grace

Aflow

All of these songs
all of these words
all of these feelings
begin to unfold

All that I knew
I have to unlearn
because to love you means 
to love myself first


For I didn't think myself enough
And I searched my soul to find
That unconditional love for myself was the key
To bridge my inner divide


It is a decision
a commitment without doubt
with my whole being
mind, body, heart and soul can't be apart

Now as I breathe
and with my blood aflow
all is in unison
life in harmony glows

So I commit now
to walk off the ledge
I fall 
so that I will catch myself

In the arms of love
and upon the wings of faith
soaring upon songs of heaven
brave to be open again 

Committing to myself
and now committing to you
let my words be my prayer
let my life be Truth 

Discovery

Self discovery is an ongoing task.
And although it's done for yourself, 
It doesn't happen by yourself

As humans we are creatures who exist with a purpose,
And that purpose can be realised through and by many ways

We are each crucial to our self discovery and evolution,
as beings divine and cosmic

We by ourselves have great power,
but for all that the power is,
it is inspired by the world in and around us

That is why the more positive our actions are to ourselves
and the more positive people we surround ourselves with
the stronger we will grow and also the stronger they will be as well.

We were not put here just for ourselves
but for each other.

moving On

I've seen you before
But I haven't seen you for real
Now that we're here one on one
Let's see what soul and chemistry reveal

Your scent is enchanting 
It's lingering long after you've gone
Your smile remains on my mind
You laugh on repeat like a song

We've both had a past 
Human experiences revealed 
Their pain hovers over us
Making us afraid to love and feel

I'll walk the line with you
I can be your shoulder
We'll see what our hearts and minds show
And it'll hopefully help us to get over

To move on and beyond
From the lies and betrayals that clouded
To look forward to life
and open ourselves without fear, unbounded

beyond

Things in the dark eventually come to light

Souls burdened by the body, in death take flight

As the sun exists the day emerges from the night

The blind can see through their heart's benevolent sight

In as much as fear holds, hope can still remain

It is the ember in the coals needing only a breath to flame

Holding on to the past can only doom to cycles of thought insane

Remember you were born to be more than you are, remember you can break the chains

We are flesh and spirit 

On a journey to edify our souls

For this is only a beginning 

There is more to unfold

Change

Change comes to us in many forms.

Both consciously and unconsciously.

We live it, it doesn't just happen to us.

We are change, by our very existence.

And that is in itself a powerful realization.

For some of us believe that the world happens to us, that life happens to us.

But by our being, collectively the world and the universe unfolds.

And the manner in which we live; through our thoughts, words and deeds, determines how we contribute to change.

Death is inevitable and unpredictable, but we have a choice over how we live through all of our actions.

You can either be selfish and take, or generous and give.

And in giving you can either do so positively or negatively.

So it is up to you, what kind of change are you going to be?

How are you going to define your destiny? 

Return Myself to Me

I'm biding my time here

God helps those who help themselves

but I fear helping myself too much

contriving the coincidence to touch

only to build a blight to make me fall

further away from you angel

when I've fallen so much already

Should I really draw myself closer though?

I don't think I'm worthy of you

You are already being

and I am building myself to be

Someone alot more whole

Someone alot more free

I'm refining myself

because I am not enough

I once was someone who you might see

I once was someone so free

a spirit who danced upon waves of light

A poet who wrote under the stars of night

I could lay upon the ground

and speak to the earth

and the trees would hear me

and the winds would blow

such balance existed once

but I lost myself, I lost the pieces

Now I'm figuring out

the reasons for why I stopped believing

I know I'll return myself to me

hopefully you might still be there to see