Let Go

What is this I feel under my chest
Weighing me down like a granite vest
Clouding my mind
In haze smoke and ash
Holding me in doubt
Keeping me in distrust


You have come to me a blessing
You, my love 
And I am being held and shackled
By my own self, my own emotion
Drowning in an ocean
Of my own creation
As thick as oil it would seem


The more I write
The heavier I feel
I could only wish to release myself from this

I feel like I'm a burden
I have to reteach myself to love

Without childish fears and jealousy

I think it is the guilt of it which plagues me

and my discomfort with it as being human

I can't dwell in this fear any longer
and I will not
For with you I desire to be happy
with you I desire to be more than whole

My being: shed the shell, veil and shackles of the past
To dust and ashes they must go

From my rebirth may my love be reborn
The flame in my heart now burns anew 

I Pray

I pray for love
Like I pray for life
for one is nothing without the other.


And when love has come as a blessing to hold you and envelope you in the heart and soul of God, 
do not stop praying for love.


You pray for love to keep living within you.


So you can open your heart to love yourself and others equally.


For it is as much as you give of your heart, 
you will receive from the heart of others.


Trust your heart and your soul to the world.


And although insecurity may exist due to fear, 
let not these fears overwhelm you 
and prevent you from giving your whole heart.


Let your emotion flow forth, 
like the wellspring of life flows from this world.


May it be eternal and fearless 
and may it be just as you are.

This Place

Sometimes I feel like I am adrift on the doldrums on the seas of my heart.

On a sturdy boat yet looking hopefully towards the horizon and the sky.

My hope is quenched by the intermittent rains. And I keep full my
bottle of faith, with each breath and blessing of the setting sun and
rising moon.

Life is a blessing indeed. Yet there is something more I search for,
desire and need.

I avail myself to you, my heart, my soul. I am who I am, born from you
and to you one day I will return.

ViDe

ViDe
by
Kendall Teloka
1st April
2004

I reach with an open heart
casting it away,
On this ocean of life
let the currents carry it where they may.

This may be foolish or brave,
but i must take a chance,
For this life is short,
I'll take the risk while it lasts.

Tired of being guarded,
wondering about what may be,
Thinking about whether my love belongs
to one far away,
or the one next to me.

I resolve to open this heart,
and mind
Understanding hate
and all that is unkind.

So I could let myself go,
and come back down to earth,
to live life to the fullest,
and to give for all that it's worth.

Give and Guide

Sometimes destiny gives
and then circumstance takes away
When its out of your hands
you ask for the serenity of soul
to find a way.

For mind finds no reason in logic,
And passion overwhelms the heart
So spirit would need to step in
to guide its children upon life's path.

Beyond

I can only be held within this confluence
This current of emotion , soul and being
To manifest this self from turbulence refined
by circumstance, reason and the divine

I settle to the top
The cream, the mist, the cloud,
The wind, my voice, the spirit
The sound

A melody by chords strummed
from the depths of this heart
they may enchant, and enthrall
Fear to dissipate and depart

As the sun sets and the moon rises for my sight
The wind may be my breath
The crashing waves the beat of my heart
May I leave the memory of me
Beyond even death
Eternally yours

Woman of my soul, my dreams

She comes to me while I'm asleep,
A being of this world only visible in my dreams.

Many years ago she made herself known to me.
She reached into my heart and swam in the ocean of my soul.
With her gentle strokes she made her mark within me.
Enchanting me with a fragrance I could never quite smell.
Embracing me with arms and a body no one on earth may ever even have.
Looking at me with eyes and revealing a smile I have only beheld by glimpses of passing beauties.

Here I am wanton in my desire for her,
and here I remain unrequited.

As long as my heart beats I will search for you my love,
for when it stops,
and my breath at its last,
I know you will be with me,
helping me to break this earthbound fast.

In Your Arms

I see not your face in our embrace
Yet I know you
So dear and close to me
To my heart

You hold me and I melt in your arms
and fall into you
Your warmth envelops my being
And I know that I am protected
and safe with you in your arms

But by the mischievous rays of the sun
I am called forth from my dream
And you fleet away from me
I just pray that you could have stayed

Then I awake to the day
Still covered in your bliss
So much overwhelming emotion
And not even a kiss

I go about my day
I know who you are
You may not feel the same way
But I love you from afar

Strange that I feel this way
It was probably building inside
For sometime
Within the time of my thoughts
You send a message asking if I’m fine

I’ll reply in kind
with a smile
my soul called to you
It asked the universe if you would be mine

And bless the stars
I get hello
I guess this is the introduction
I was looking for

I'm here for the moment

I am left to look to the sky
Seeing dark clouds
but the rain drops won't fall upon me

My soul feels thirsty and
My heart is dry
Can the love I desire and need, edify and quench me?

I've sifted through the layers and folds
Seeing with time the barriers that I put up and hold

But to live I'd need to pull them down
I know one day she'll be there to help me down
From this solitude of my Soul

I've walked alone for a while
and learned to breathe
I've lost my way in a dark place
and understood what it meant to feel

But some fears they still reside
I've overcome so much yet I still hide

Memories of those brave moments
seem so far from me in my time of need
May be I just need to stop recalling the past
and in myself for once believe.

SOFT

SOFT

RADIANT

LIGHT

FLOWING

GRACEFUL

BRIGHT

These are the words

that come from my heart

to my mind

Seeing your face
In this chaotic place

Makes time stop for a moment

In this momentary eternity

I know that

Hope is still alive

Deep inside

You may or may not be

The one possibly the only
But from our glances
There must be something blissful, holy

Maybe be can sit and chat a while

I’m loving your laugh and smile
And your words and thoughts captivate me

Like not many have done before

It’s a shame that our time was short
But life is as such
We’ve come each other’s way in a coincidence
And I’m left with a heartfelt crush

This I don’t mind

Cuz I’ve grown to know
that life is a river
And I’ll just move with the flow

the depraved umbrella

His umbrella may have been depraved

But it weathered his travels

Through the storms and the rain

Through the unforgiving heat of the dry season
It stood and sheltered

Held by steady, caring hands

The umbrella though torn

Remained resilient

 

Bequeathed to him by those who didn’t care for it

It was his faithful companion

 

From south to north and back

It sheltered him like the hand of god over his head
And gave him the solitude to ponder his writings

and his journey in life while he walked

 

The world would look at him in amazement

“Why he doh get ah new one?!?!”
“Is cheap he cheap?!?!”

 

Yet he could not be all the more wealthy

For his heart and soul were ever radiant

Giving to the world more than they knew

 

For he wrote and spoke the hidden truths of our hearts

And in his wanderings he learnt more about humanity
About its despairs, about its hopes and dreams

 

He connects those who wanted to be heard
With those who would listen
And in the joy of connecting people
This became his reward and his own blessing

 

In the depraved umbrella

He realized the divine

And that the imperfect was perfect 
and sublime

 

Fathom

We feel overwhelmed at times by the rushing tides

Where once the path so clearly was seen
Is now covered by the deep, the unknown

Spanning the divide of our mind

So perilous and dark it may seem
turbulent, churning, dark waters

From our darkest dreams

We can tread this unknown

And seek to discover the darkness of our souls

Where the shadows keep warm and abide

Where the light does not bother to be

So far on the other side

Why fight the current and flow

Cross the shadows

Free your mind of fear,

And let go

For the light and darkness

Came from one

Let the waters carry you into the unknown

Take the plunge…

deep….

down....

From there you can learn of yourself

And listen to the silence of the deep

To know the side of life you hide from
under your covers while asleep

Free your mind of fear and let go
let the darkness come to light
and the unknown become the known
to learn to fathom the depths

Of the eternal ocean….

Your soul

Treasures of the Past

We should not live in the past

But remember the treasures that we found there

The treasures that inspired us

That lifted us to become more than we are

Which have enabled us to be here at this point

A time which we could not have seen then
But which our hearts yearned for

And our eternal souls knew of

These treasures are words

Sounds, scents, moments

Fleeting and Enduring

Good and Bad

We return to them

And sometimes they to us

They connect us to the universal soul of this world

They connect us to a confluence of lives which lift us up

And in turn we lift them

These treasures are in fact
the very things that make our souls dance

Our hearts soar

Our minds at peace and our bodies whole

They are the blessing of a mother

The hug from a friend

A cough drop from a concerned worker
Those little things

Remember these treasures

Remember the peace they brought to you

And how they lifted you up

So that in your time of trial
you may draw from this

“easier said than done” may come to mind
but cast that phrase out

draw from these moments for they
these treasures of the past have not left you
they abide in your heart
as the energy of the universe abides in you

give peace from where peace is given
and make peace from where chaos may seem to dance
for chaos gave birth to a dancing star
and the dancing star eventually gave birth to us all

--
Kendäll†