Circle, Cycle, Chains

It seems I'm in an infinite loop
Going in cirles in my mind
Although I know you're poison
I still search for you to find


A hope that you could give back
what I allowed you to take away
But in my heart
It can never return
I don't have the faith you can change


Yet why is it so hard to bleed you out
get you out of my veins
You're a stain on my soul
A scar on my heart
this cycle goes round, again and again


I'm so scared to have love now
but I must gather the strength to move on
to shatter these chains ingrained in my being
to lift myself out of this hole
to have faith, to be strong once more

Just Words

Such a smile to fool the world
Underneath it all
in the depths you hide
The pain, stained from so many years
Snuffing away the love
the light inside

All I had wasn't strong enough to remain
I held you and you cut me all the same
Bleeding out heart and soul
All I am flooding the floor
In awe
and shock
there was nothing left anymore

I smell your perfume
and feel your presence
Still on somedays
My scars speak to remind me
I need to love you
to free myself
to walk away

mere dil

my soul soars the night sky
underneath the moon and stars
searching with my heart
to see where you are

the wind is cold
but this feeling inside won't die
I float and flow through the air
flickering and fleeting lights my guide

I can't stop to rest
for the moments  to you are nearing
Pushing past the wear my wings are feeling
I will embrace you with them
when our lips meet and
I smell the sweetness of the air you're breathing

Rose Blur

this is a result of a glass of Rosé and listening to Incubus- Pantomime: Rose Blur

Why capoeira?

Martial arts has always been a practice I have wanted to have in my life since it was a boy.
As like any kid in the 80's I grew up watching Bruce Lee, 
and even had a book about him in my house.


For me he was the epitamy of martial arts back then and still is for me now.
The embodiment of philosophy in action.


When became a teenager I was exposed to karate in secondary school 
and although my friends showed me what they learnt,
it didn't resonate with me.  


One thing did come back to me in those teenage years though,  it was seeing capoeira on Sesame Street and in a movie called "Only the Strong" with Mark Dacascos.
A combination of acrobatics melded with kicks and other strikes seemed to be fun. 
But with this art, looks were deceiving.


Alas, it was a chance enounter with a very great friend of mine Velho (who I consider to be one of my big brothers) that brought me to capoeira.
He came back from abroad and always encouraged me to come to the classes in Cascade, which was a mountain ridge away from where I lived.
But my career at the time in advertising didn't permit.
That was a lie though, I didn't make the time to permit myself to explore this dream.


When I changed jobs and went into education, 
I carried with me 40lbs which I gained over the 2 1/2 years there.


I had to make a change but this was not a change to just lose weight, but to balance mind body and spirit and master emotion.


And when I started my classes, our teacher Azulao taught and guided us to that.


I discovered that this martial art involved the balance of the enitre human body. Which required strength, agility, flexibility, endurance and being mentally tough.
For you use your entire body to do the movements: a kick was not simply your leg doing a strike- it was your leg moving to strike, the other leg pivoting and balancing 
and your torso and upper body turning to unleash the energy giving you the momentum to send your foot into the space behind your opponent 
with your arms up to defending at the same time. 


Also our movement was rhythmic and circular enabling us to dodge and evade strikes, while simultaneously moving into counterstrike at the same time.


Tranference from potential energy to kinnetic energy with control of not only mind and heart but through the harmony of these with your soul is what the art was about.


If I were to go a bit deeper into it, this was an exercise of being. Seeing the strike and yet the moves yet to be made all in the same moment.


Knowing and being resolute in action for offence, to defend and in doing so calling all the elements of the self into one to make it possible.


This is capoeira, this is martial arts, but by extension isn't this also life? 


We do (should be doing) this for ourselves, our families, our principles, for one another. 


Thus martial arts becomes the art of life. 


And in my life I made a promise to myself to do the things that resonated with my soul, 
I will continue to paint, write, draw, play music and sing.
And now to add to this Capoeira is now one of these things, a point of resonance, for the art of life. 

Coincidence and Confluence

God does not believe in coincidences.

As such our lives are influenced by the confluences of our beings:
Our direct and indirect actions and interactions with each other and ourselves.

The more positively we give to the world, the better it will become.
Give and give with love, never with fear.
Fear begets a vicious cycle and a downward spiral.
And although the ideal would be for it not to exist, it is as a
challenge for us to become more than we are, to edify our souls, and
grow as beings of life.

If there weren't any darkness, how would we be able to truly
appreciate the benefit and beauty of the light.

And if there weren't any light, how would we be able to understand the
solitude of the void that is the dark.

Falling

We ride the wave
Fly through sky
Hand in hand
Falling never to die

This enchanting melody
Only our ears can hear
The universe strums life's chords
The resonance draws us near

Souls entwined
Becoming lost in your eyes
Eternity in this moment
Falling in love never to die

My heart races
Your hand on my chest
The waters within become calm
Drenched in your love
I will never forget