I hope

I awoke to see her head upon my chest.
Her eyes were open looking into mine. 
We did not speak. 
Yet in the silence of her heart she said to me "have no fear, nor any worry,
 I trust you and I believe in you".

I felt calm then. 
For on the outside, a world of uncertainty awaited me. 
All the self reliance I had and that I used as my pillar of strength, 
it was slowly beginning to crack and my steps beginning to falter.

With these my faith waned and I found myself a prisoner of my circumstance, 
which no man wishes to become. 
But in that moment she gave me faith.

Just then I awoke. 
I was in the opposite position on my bed, 
with my head to the wall and the sun to my feet.

I wish the dream did not have to end, but it had to. 
Although I wished I had more time with her, 
I couldn't remember her face, 
yet I felt her calming presence with me.

I think this angel was sent to inspire me. 
To let me know that there was someone out there who has an unconditional faith in me.

In the exact same way I feel the same way about her.
I hope we can at least cross paths one day. 
I hope she's real.

Let Go

What is this I feel under my chest
Weighing me down like a granite vest
Clouding my mind
In haze smoke and ash
Holding me in doubt
Keeping me in distrust


You have come to me a blessing
You, my love 
And I am being held and shackled
By my own self, my own emotion
Drowning in an ocean
Of my own creation
As thick as oil it would seem


The more I write
The heavier I feel
I could only wish to release myself from this

I feel like I'm a burden
I have to reteach myself to love

Without childish fears and jealousy

I think it is the guilt of it which plagues me

and my discomfort with it as being human

I can't dwell in this fear any longer
and I will not
For with you I desire to be happy
with you I desire to be more than whole

My being: shed the shell, veil and shackles of the past
To dust and ashes they must go

From my rebirth may my love be reborn
The flame in my heart now burns anew 

I Pray

I pray for love
Like I pray for life
for one is nothing without the other.


And when love has come as a blessing to hold you and envelope you in the heart and soul of God, 
do not stop praying for love.


You pray for love to keep living within you.


So you can open your heart to love yourself and others equally.


For it is as much as you give of your heart, 
you will receive from the heart of others.


Trust your heart and your soul to the world.


And although insecurity may exist due to fear, 
let not these fears overwhelm you 
and prevent you from giving your whole heart.


Let your emotion flow forth, 
like the wellspring of life flows from this world.


May it be eternal and fearless 
and may it be just as you are.

This Place

Sometimes I feel like I am adrift on the doldrums on the seas of my heart.

On a sturdy boat yet looking hopefully towards the horizon and the sky.

My hope is quenched by the intermittent rains. And I keep full my
bottle of faith, with each breath and blessing of the setting sun and
rising moon.

Life is a blessing indeed. Yet there is something more I search for,
desire and need.

I avail myself to you, my heart, my soul. I am who I am, born from you
and to you one day I will return.

ViDe

ViDe
by
Kendall Teloka
1st April
2004

I reach with an open heart
casting it away,
On this ocean of life
let the currents carry it where they may.

This may be foolish or brave,
but i must take a chance,
For this life is short,
I'll take the risk while it lasts.

Tired of being guarded,
wondering about what may be,
Thinking about whether my love belongs
to one far away,
or the one next to me.

I resolve to open this heart,
and mind
Understanding hate
and all that is unkind.

So I could let myself go,
and come back down to earth,
to live life to the fullest,
and to give for all that it's worth.

Give and Guide

Sometimes destiny gives
and then circumstance takes away
When its out of your hands
you ask for the serenity of soul
to find a way.

For mind finds no reason in logic,
And passion overwhelms the heart
So spirit would need to step in
to guide its children upon life's path.

Beyond

I can only be held within this confluence
This current of emotion , soul and being
To manifest this self from turbulence refined
by circumstance, reason and the divine

I settle to the top
The cream, the mist, the cloud,
The wind, my voice, the spirit
The sound

A melody by chords strummed
from the depths of this heart
they may enchant, and enthrall
Fear to dissipate and depart

As the sun sets and the moon rises for my sight
The wind may be my breath
The crashing waves the beat of my heart
May I leave the memory of me
Beyond even death
Eternally yours