The flow.....or rather thoughts about it

Sometimes you just have to declutter the physical then get to the mental and spiritual.

It takes a stronger will to clean up the inside than the outside. But usually when your room or home space is lighter and has a better flow, you also become less sluggish and are able to become more alive.

I've realised though that you should try to clean or clear up both....for once one starts to accumulate dust the other will too.

Life is really a daily process of letting go and holding on.

And also realising that we're in a state of constant flow, for time will never allow us to remain the same even though mentally we might be in the same place.

Take the Time

It's been a long time since I have posted anything.

At one point I wondered if I should immerse myself in life totally, to just absorb and live.

But I forgot to do one of the more important things which is to reflect and meditate.

As a result I got so caught up in being I got self absorbed and failed to remember that life is not only about the enrichment of self, but a balance of this and giving to the world especially the lives of others.

The mind is a curious and powerful part of us.

When we doubt ourselves it can destroy us, and we be believe in ourselves with love instead of fear it exalts us.

And I over time led myself into self-doubt and have been walking down a path that has weighed me and my spirit down.

At first I thought is was something merely physical, but a holistic practitioner reminded me that we must deal with the body as a whole: mind, body and spirit.

Thus while I heal, I also remind you to take the time to step back and reflect, even if you may not pray, meditate and ask yourself are you fighting a battle without, when you are truly fighting yourself within?

Be blessed, Ameen

Break the Cycle

I have noticed in all relationships
We lash out at those closest to us
And have a tendency to to hurt them
When we ourselves feel vulnerable
Cornered or threatened

And it's a part of all relationships
Sometimes it's intentional
Sometimes it's just a defense mechanism
And most times it feels devastating

In your mind you wonder what you've done
You look to place blame somewhere
As a means of coming to terms with this cycle of pain

But the hardest thing to do is to take yourself out of the situation
And to see as to what caused the hurt to begin with
The hardest thing is to not react and just remain loving
Unless you practice an unconditional love for yourself and for others

I am trying to do that
With every experience
With every encounter
Give love
And not this pain that's being shared and held on to

Remember

In the middle of the the night I lie awake and think of you
I remember all the moments we shared The precious time we spared
That made moments into eternity

And sometimes I wonder if my thoughts could travel this time and space
To dance on what remains of love's grace

To find you in your dreams
That as my heart beats of you
You'll smile in your sleep with sweet memory

Rememering the exuberance with which our hearts, bodies and souls bloomed The brief love that swayed in passionate dance under the rising sun and phasing moon

If you can one day look on these and smile
Then I can find solace And peace of mind

For this love would have indeed been real
And not only something that we briefly had a chance to feel....

Still Learning

I know so much
Yet my actions deceive my mind
I hold on when I should let go
I persist when I should give space

How I wish that I would have acted better
How I wish that I hadn't become enveloped by my own emotions
In hindsight I see wisdom
In hindsight the truth is ever so clear

Yet now I can save nothing
The time has gone and the ship has sailed
All I can do is learn 
Learn from my past

I asked God to teach me to love unconditionally
And he has given me the lessons to learn
I thought that I could have remained in a relationship for it to happen
And I could have
But I didn't give myself and my partner the space
We needed that

Kahlil Gibran spoke about standing like the pillars of the temple
I do have and hold the regret that I didn't live this wisdom
Perhaps I had to lose to learn
And let go and forgive myself for the loss all the same
For holding on to anything in life is the surest way to imprison ourselves
And kill anything we love

Love's path isn't smooth and has ever been one of learning
It is a path of surrender instead of fighting
Of release rather than possession
Love's path is the freedom to be

The nurturing of one's own love
Like and eternal flame within
To be shared with the world
But never diminished and extinguished despite life's trials

Admittedly the humanity of it all 
Is a daily process
And your self love will be tested
For life in living demands that you face what you need to overcome 
for you to grow, for your soul to soar. 

My task now is to let go with love
Holding no more onto pain, 
to anger 
nor thoughts of what may have been

My task is to let go of the lies 
That I told myself were true
To unlearn with love
To be reborn in my own skin
Letting my light shine first and foremost

And it is a task
Because I am human
And I still feel
God is in me but I am not as strong 
Yet I will be
I will be able feel the pain after loss
And with grace accept why what I cared about has left
Trusting what will come next
Loving myself and others to know that life is short
And that we are not meant to be here forever
But to give as much love to this world before it's our time to leave. 

The Circles and Cycles of Life

The Circles and Cycles of Life

Ever do they change

You become in the confluence of each other

Spinning together dancing, entwined engaged

The heart of our hearts

Our souls call each other’s names

Then life awakens our fears

And slowly our dance begins to fade

Our gravities become destructive

Our planets separate

From within we are undone

Sent away to solitude again

The elements of what we were

Remain carried deep within our core

Molten, bubbling our hearts

Forever within each other evermore

Our orbits seek to find others
Or we remain far from the sun to find peace
When will we align again

Only time will tell, only love can transcend to heal

Time in its Time

The words will flow in their own time
Just like the tears fall when you need to cry

Our souls will speak truth when it is ready to be revealed
For now let our beings pray in silence so that we may be healed

Because faith needs space to be free to grow                                     
And hope is led by the light even when darkness shows
 
For Love is filled with them both
So that the flower of our lives to each other can unfold

Grant me Grace: the midst

I'm just trying to find the best way to be in this world.

Learning to love, trust and accept others and everything.

To be without hate, anger and fear.

I just want to be the best man and the best human I can be for myself and for those I love.

My path thus far has been challenging.
I have had my ups and downs.

And from my experiences I am just learning to take the best from them so I can be wiser, to help others who come after me.

It is not easy, I have had more times of despair but they have been there to test my faith in not only others but most of all myself.

God grant me thy grace, to be strong and to love more than all that there is.

Thoughts

I always think about right and wrong
I always have
I always try to be the good boy scout
Do the good deeds
Be kind
Hold the door
Go the extra mile

Then there comes the times you get tested
Your goodness is taken advantage of
Your kindness becomes a welcome mat

But at the end of it all
The world is an unforgiving place for the most part

And "goodness" isn't genuine
It, for the most part, with most people
seems to come with an ulterior motive

So what do good people do?
How do we survive?
Do we become embittered and go for revenge?
Maybe or maybe not
But here's the truth,
We all feel
And I would  be lying if I said revenge never crossed my mind
Would it be worth it?
No
But you energies have to be channeled somewhere and in someway

Trust me when I say
I have lived long enough to see
The evil that men do come back to them
And their suffering is their karma

The sayings are all true
"As you make your bed in it, so shall you lay"
"Do unto others as you shall have them do unto you"

What you give, you will get
That's life

Who you surround yourself with will influence you the most
Their morals will become your life

So what I have learned
Well.....
We are all human, we feel,
And We must allow our emotions to be felt
Do we act on them
No
Think always, actions have consequences
And your instincts are very real and also guide you in the right direction if you let them

The truth is, we will all get hurt and disappointed one way or another
And when this happens
We need to get past it not be crippled by it
Never stop moving forward
Grieve while in motion
Take your time, but don't stop moving
Don't stifle what you feel either
Because you will explode or implode

Love is a saving grace
It's not easy
It is a decision
It is powerful
It is courage
It is strength
It is vulnerability
It is grace
It is our purpose

Only if we weren't so battered and bruised by one another to realize it and embrace the fact.

This world is a grand mess,
Chaotic
and in other moments so Beautiful

We're just too caught up in our fears (whether right or wrong)
To see it

But  you know what
We'll all realize the truth and our purpose in time
hopefully in the right time (not sooner or later)

We can only try our best to heal each other and ourselves
With openness, truth and love

That's the only way to function.
To live.
To be.............

Man

In my mind I contemplate the hypocricy of man
How we all hide behind lies to save ourselves at the cost of others
How selfish we are
When all that is needed to go forward is goodness
We are rarely upfront
There is always a catch
Cheers and blessings to those who are true
Who live their truth
Who despite being afraid, live anyway
Who love anyway
Who know that courage is living and that love is at the source of it all
Goodnight

Present

Being present in my mind now
With all that I face and feel
I know now what to let go of
I know what is real

I must let go of doubt
Pain and all the forms of fear
That cloud my heart and mind
I must face them with courage
and understand their nature to find

Where my strength and faith lay within my soul
Love is a power stronger than all
Anger can only betray our hearts
By its venom we all will fall

Jealousy reflects our lack of trust in ourselves
And the peace we have within
I know now to be patient with myself
And Love myself if I truly want to Live.

When

For all in this world becomes clear
When the being chooses love over fear
When the spirit hopes, rather than be in despair

When we trust ourselves
More than doubt
When we know
Instead of overthinking to figure out

Let our choice be happiness
For ourselves and those who with us abide
Let our choice be to live
And not to hide

For we are born of light
And it is the light we are born to impart
For the light is our happiness
And the happiness the unconditional love in our heart

God and Goddess

A confessed love too quickly
This maze of emotions sway me

Searching to rationalize what she said
I know the truth but so much tumbles in my head

I am happy and a bit sad
walking this line I have

For she’s my friend and my guide
Beautiful, strong, vulnerable and wise.

She’s a woman, a goddess, not yet realised
She will be all she needs for herself, her true love she will find

She speaks to me, a man, a god yet to be
She  said “Don’t rush into love,  give only who show they are worthy.”

Not many women who call themselves my friend have given this advice
How blessed am I that she has been able to give of her heart of hearts and this wisdom provide

I can see why my confession was rushed
The god saw the goddess and gave their love and trust.

But our bodies and minds still hesitant and afraid
I offer a prayer to wait and be brave

Who knows if she may be my soul mate, or a kindred spirit in life
I believe we were friends in incarnations before
I believe all will be revealed in time

When do you know.....

When do you know...
What is it that turns this knowledge wise...
What sets it apart from the rest of times. ...
Can you step back and look with unclouded eyes?

How do you know?...
Is it the way you look into her eyes. ...
The way she's close to you and you realise...
She is the only one in this world. ...
No one can take her place by your side. .....
                                         
My soul it whispers her name and smiles....
My heart is so proud it sings...
There is no doubt in my mind...
My body unwinds. ...
And I am alive... but not head over heels.....
Love flows so naturally. .. I don't need to be healed...for this love is real.

When do you know?....It's when you decide.

Sometimes I type the words only to erase

I wonder what truly matters

Although I truly know already
Because we are all born knowing
One way or another

We know because we hesitate
And think about our actions
At least the sane ones do

And this hesitation comes from our own learning
and creation of barriers that hold us 

 They often start without
And works its way within

We all start off, conceived in knowing
Conceived in love
But in our birthing and baptism
We are forced to learn away from the truth of this knowing
The truth of our souls

But in us,
for us who are not inclined to follow
Always burn questions
Thus we seek to learn the answers
And unlearn the untruth

But this is a struggle in a world of lies
A world of flies
And so many have died
in blissful unknowing
With the blood from their soul flowing

I do not wish to be in that comfort of many
For I would not want to die
To die
Living a lie

Letting Go.......

Travelling on flow and fantasy,
Floating,
Embracing the light as the sun shines.

Just letting go,
For what I held onto was unnecessary.
Letting go, 
Because opening up was the better way to find...

All that needed to be found, 
without seeking after.
And opening up,
Meant not being afraid any longer. 

So I am open and unafraid,
The light shines out coming in.
Letting go...
For my own life to begin. 

Untitled

I could feel the fear rise and subside
As if it were breath, In and out
To understand it was to understand  myself
What was my love, what was my doubt

And the more I was in silence with myself
And prayed
Questions became answers
And I was no longer slave

To self-doubt ,fear
and the dark
I was born to embrace myself
the light, faith, hope and love
from the depths of my heart

At the Dawn of the Morn

At the dawn of the morn
I slipped back into sleep
To dream a dream of you
Your love I feel through
And through

I’m in spaces and places
That I’ve never been before
You call me softly into yours
And  kiss with a passion so pure
So sure

And time stands still once again
Doubts that lingered
Melted away
You were here now,

Our embrace renewed 

Our soul old vow

And as fleetingly as the dream came
My consciousness pulled me back
I wish I could have remained
But I’m left to find you
On this earthly plane

The sun glows through the curtains
And unwillingly I awake
One day we will come upon each other
One day we can have a chance at together

As the Lightning Danced Across the Sky

As the lightning danced across the sky
The melody of her voice swirled around me
Calmed and soothed by her softness
Enchanted by her Beauty

In that moment time stood still
Lost in her eyes
As the lightning danced
Danced across the sky

The flower of my soul
After so long has unfolded
The wall I put up
Broken down and melted

I rise and I fall
I'm awake, I'm alive
I thought I died once before
But my heart did survive

She sings 
and my being soars
What soul can ask for more

This Memory and This Moment

There's a storm in my heart
A longing inside
It rips all fear apart
I can no longer hide

These feelings so strong
From an intimate dance shared
Swaying and swooning in each other's embrace
In that moment the world stood still
They stopped and stared

At us two who were just in our moment
That quenched our own thirsts within
A soulfelt affection
It was blissful to feel this way again

The night it ended
And the connection fades away
I'm left in the memory
How I wish you could stay

But All I have is the memory
And how it made me feel
My heart is awake
Enough for now has been revealed

I can be sad now
But no tears shall I shed
For in that moment I had something real
In that moment I became alive again