Break the Cycle

I have noticed in all relationships
We lash out at those closest to us
And have a tendency to to hurt them
When we ourselves feel vulnerable
Cornered or threatened

And it's a part of all relationships
Sometimes it's intentional
Sometimes it's just a defense mechanism
And most times it feels devastating

In your mind you wonder what you've done
You look to place blame somewhere
As a means of coming to terms with this cycle of pain

But the hardest thing to do is to take yourself out of the situation
And to see as to what caused the hurt to begin with
The hardest thing is to not react and just remain loving
Unless you practice an unconditional love for yourself and for others

I am trying to do that
With every experience
With every encounter
Give love
And not this pain that's being shared and held on to

Remember

In the middle of the the night I lie awake and think of you
I remember all the moments we shared The precious time we spared
That made moments into eternity

And sometimes I wonder if my thoughts could travel this time and space
To dance on what remains of love's grace

To find you in your dreams
That as my heart beats of you
You'll smile in your sleep with sweet memory

Rememering the exuberance with which our hearts, bodies and souls bloomed The brief love that swayed in passionate dance under the rising sun and phasing moon

If you can one day look on these and smile
Then I can find solace And peace of mind

For this love would have indeed been real
And not only something that we briefly had a chance to feel....

Still Learning

I know so much
Yet my actions deceive my mind
I hold on when I should let go
I persist when I should give space

How I wish that I would have acted better
How I wish that I hadn't become enveloped by my own emotions
In hindsight I see wisdom
In hindsight the truth is ever so clear

Yet now I can save nothing
The time has gone and the ship has sailed
All I can do is learn 
Learn from my past

I asked God to teach me to love unconditionally
And he has given me the lessons to learn
I thought that I could have remained in a relationship for it to happen
And I could have
But I didn't give myself and my partner the space
We needed that

Kahlil Gibran spoke about standing like the pillars of the temple
I do have and hold the regret that I didn't live this wisdom
Perhaps I had to lose to learn
And let go and forgive myself for the loss all the same
For holding on to anything in life is the surest way to imprison ourselves
And kill anything we love

Love's path isn't smooth and has ever been one of learning
It is a path of surrender instead of fighting
Of release rather than possession
Love's path is the freedom to be

The nurturing of one's own love
Like and eternal flame within
To be shared with the world
But never diminished and extinguished despite life's trials

Admittedly the humanity of it all 
Is a daily process
And your self love will be tested
For life in living demands that you face what you need to overcome 
for you to grow, for your soul to soar. 

My task now is to let go with love
Holding no more onto pain, 
to anger 
nor thoughts of what may have been

My task is to let go of the lies 
That I told myself were true
To unlearn with love
To be reborn in my own skin
Letting my light shine first and foremost

And it is a task
Because I am human
And I still feel
God is in me but I am not as strong 
Yet I will be
I will be able feel the pain after loss
And with grace accept why what I cared about has left
Trusting what will come next
Loving myself and others to know that life is short
And that we are not meant to be here forever
But to give as much love to this world before it's our time to leave.