Falling

We ride the wave
Fly through sky
Hand in hand
Falling never to die

This enchanting melody
Only our ears can hear
The universe strums life's chords
The resonance draws us near

Souls entwined
Becoming lost in your eyes
Eternity in this moment
Falling in love never to die

My heart races
Your hand on my chest
The waters within become calm
Drenched in your love
I will never forget

Au Sem Mao

Au Sem Mao

Conquer your fears

Let all thought go

  Become like water

Let your body flow 

chaos the dancing star

chaos the dancing star

Spirals have always been a part of my art and psyche. 

They also represent: 

Balance, Progress, Direction, Initiation, Centering, Expanding, Awareness, Connection, Journeying, Development.

When I draw or paint them I feel an out pouring and catharsis of sorts, to dispel any imbalance I feel within. 

Black and Blu

so close

the devil, the deep blue

experiments with black and blue acrylic

Doubt (wip)

Adieu Ma Cherie, Mon Ange

She haunts the space between

My arms and my dreams

Watching over me in the still

Of my sleep

Through the haze of my dream

I saw her fair and aglow

Under the moonlight, in front of my window

My eyes halfway closed

In my heart I know her

Else she is familiar in a special place

Yet I have never seen her face

She lay next to me in sleep

I placed my arms around her to keep

Her warm since she was cold to the touch

With my embrace and a kiss

Warmth returned to her with bliss

Then she whispered and disappeared

If I only knew what she whispered

To the night air before her spirit dispersed

I awoke to hold my angel

Who in my dream was once here

Hugging so tightly

But world told me she was never there

I yearned to return to sleep

I wished her to be real and not a dream

What did this all mean?

Was there any meaning at all?

Thank you for this moment my angel

Even though I felt my heart fall

It will whisper to the wind

And your name it would know to call

Heart Aflame

Ignite my heart 
With passionate flames
It's dancing plumes 
Whisper your name

My soul and mind aglow
My body enveloped in your embrace
Life in harmony and flow
The pieces find their place

Painting

background of red and orange, using a wash

fell asleep adding details

letting the piece dry overnight

For the First Time In a Long Time

I held my guitar in my hands
And I played the chords
The heart of my soul awakened
Hope began to pour

Visions of your energy flowed
I felt who you would be
Someone I had to search for
You won't just come to me

Some confluences are made
When eyes touch
Some last for a lifetime
Others not even a second not even that much

But I saw you in that moment
A smile to my soul
I can rest easy
Through love I am whole

Tracey Chan: leaving words of love

Tracey Chan: leaving words of love: The beast sleeps in the still of the night, while beauty dances upon its dreams. Kendall was the only one to leave me something pretty, w...

Words of Her

She has been with me for many years
Yet I have never seen her face
Present yet gone in her haunting embrace

If there was one act affection in life that I would need
It would be her touch
No other would I need
It would be enough

She only exists within my dreams
For no other on earthly plane could compare
I've tried to find her essence in others
It was futile and my soul knew not to dare

I may need to be reborn to find her
Or be content to find
She may have resided within me since the beginning of forever
We were born two souls entwined

Photos and Art

Lotus drawn from a box of yogi tea :-)

Chakras

Meditation

The sun beginning to set on Carli Bay, California(Pt. Lisas)

Howling at the moon

(I've always loved the moon, seeing it in resplendence from the hills I live)

Bruno Mars has two songs that remind me of my drawing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBxdxc_mpR0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ_DPm8dmlo

Confluence 

The Swallow

He tried to save it but knew he could not. Sitting in the living room he heard the fearful shriek and near resounding thud of the bird's body on the gallery floor.

With a start, he rose to his feet looking with a question in mind, trying to hide what he knew had happened, with a shroud of denial. Then he saw the swallow on the ground. It was near lifeless, yet breathing "Yes there still may be a chance!"

The thought of God was in his mind, so with this faith, he gently picked up the bird and set out to do what naturally came to him. To care. For this was the fire which drove his being, his philosophy, his truth.

Quickly, with the bird in both hands, he went to the sink. Turning the tap to a mere trickle, he allowed the water to run slowly, in the hope that the bird would drink to ease its shock of falling out of his nest.

Putting its beak near the outflow, the young man waited within himself to see if the bird would take. Seconds seemed like hours as he held a steady hand and eye. Then with the blink of its eye, the bird finally turned his head and began to sip.

Hope ignited in his heart as the swallow did this. Then when it had drank enough, he took a small basket from his mother's room, placed a pink rag in it and laid the bird there, that it may have rested and recovered.

He placed the basket on the table in front of him and then sat on the couch looking, and observing to see what would happen. But without warning the bird of black and white began to breathe rapidly, quivering each time it exhaled.

The young man now knelt behind the table, holding the basket not wanting to believe what he was seeing. Then a calm came over the room, and with this the bird's breathing slowed. And with each delay of exhale, he could feel an immense void threatening to envelop his heart.

With one last breath , the little bird left it's body in a ray of splendor unseen by the heartbroken boy in his sadness. The basket was placed back on the table and now his hands covered his face trying in vain to hold back the tidal wave of emotion he had held in his being for so long.

But no longer could it be restrained by the chains of his anger or jealousy, which he had built like a great wall around his heart. For now the facade was shattered, and his sorrow echoed silently as his tears soaked his entire world.

So many a time we try to hide in the world, living on our virtues and not realizing our fallibility. Yet we are brought to humility not by a multitude, but in fact by one minute bird, sent in the end to set us free. 

I Dive, I Dive

There seems to be no right or wrong
My brain is like the muddled water in a disturbed pond
I seek a closure
From this exposure
Some form of understanding 
From this doubt demanding
While my heart stays numb
And my soul in tears


I put so much hope into us
and the bliss dissipates to ashes and dust
Maybe I thought you could understand me
And teach me what it means to love
Maybe I hoped that you could forgive me
and help me to leave my past behind and rise above


I fought so much of my confusion for so long
To keep my heart unaffected and remain
But words cut like a blade
With my memory stained
I became defeated by you
Feeling imperfect, unforgiven and worthless 
how could I hope to stay
how could I hope to stay


But I'm still here
Drenched in the memory of you
Soaked to the bone
My heart and my soul yearn for you
I have made you all I know
My thoughts of you are all I know
I have no comfort in anything
No solace to find
I'm spiralling and losing myself
Why did this go wrong?
Why am I wrong?
Why am I alive?
Defeated
I dive
I dive
I hope one day you can understand
I hope I can live and survive
Dive, Defeated, Die?
or
Live, Love, Endure, Survive.....

only so much

There is only so much that the heart and soul can go on bleeding

There is only so much that the body can go on needing

The mind then overcomes desire and the memory of rapture fades

A lover no longer loving, forces the other to fall away

Logic spiraling downwards

Karmic reactions pervade

The pebble into the pond of life

It’s ripples are tidal waves you can’t escape

The depths of ourselves  have been shaken

And neither of us could comprehend

How could we do this to each other

Our truths were not our friends

There’s a chasm created

And a hole in our souls survives

Could god bless us with understanding?

Could we one day become wise?

The confusion of it all has hurt us

We did not mean for each other to feel this pain

But being true to ourselves is important

That’s why I could no longer bleed and remain

Poui in Bloom

Poui in bloom,

Pink and yellow flowers scattered in the breeze,

In my memory I am searching for you,

But you fly away like the blossoms of these trees

You were there with me at my side

Just a short time before

You held me close and kissed me dearly

But you don’t any more

You say that I’m too attached

And that my affection pushes you away

But I keep giving though I don’t receive

The depth of my pain grows with each day

I’m numb now, and it feels like we’ve grown apart

You fade more and more each day

And so I see the fractures in my breaking heart

You’re not the same person I first kissed

There is only emptiness where there should be bliss

I’ve lost the love who held me at first sight

I’ve lost the promise you gave me with your eyes

the view from my heart

People may speak about their first love or their second or their last
but I prefer to look upon each love as a love unto itself
unique in itself
having no comparison
no equal and no other
they are the only eternities we have in our mortal lives
for they touch through our hearts to the depths of our immortal souls

within from without

This poison within has festered from without

Now it borrows deeply coursing through the veins of my soul

I’ve changed my mind many a time

But never in my life have I been as lost as this

I’m adrift without a sail, without a rudder

Just holding onto my heart and my soul

Up and down I go

I just want to catch my falling self

Up and down I go

This turbulence of being

This turbulence of stress

Looking within, I say let it go

Praying within, I say let it flow

Crying within, I see the cracks

Bleeding within, I know I can never go back

I can never go back to the man I once was

I need to walk forward to the man I must become

Eyes Can Speak

If only eyes could speak
The truth it would reveal of our hearts
When your gaze met mine
Our souls entwined in our thoughts

Thee

As the waves crash on the shore,
Another is being born in the sea.
The tides move to the beat of my heart.
My soul resonates to the sound of thee.


Yet I feel helpless to run the devil 
and path the deep blue sea.
Would I? Could I ask God to make real,
what my heart feels is meant to be?


Brought to tears, by selfish fears 
and in the end I know I need to tame this wanton resolve.
Grant me the patience to wait, 
and the strength of faith to let go, 
let love and live life above all.

Being

Throughout this world,
Trials of the heart, mind, body and soul pervade.


The being shields itself from fear and pain, 
shrouding and veiling itself in many ways.


But to hide away from life, 
is not the reason we were made. 


We need to open ourselves to the world, 
with love unconditional, trusting and brave.

Strong Enough

I wish I were strong enough to be your man

I wish I could heal the hurt that you hide inside

I wish I could know the fears that haunt you

So you could open your heart

But I know this would take time

But circumstance came, 

And our choices were made,

Even before that things started to fizzle and fade

It just took that night

And the burden of what came before

My inexperienced heart

and what you held inside for so long

So much still left unsaid

So much we have to reveal

but we may have rushed into things

when we may have needed to be apart to heal

I'm sorry for what separated us

But I'll cherish the time we had

My love still burns strongly for you

I hope in time we can regain what our passions began. 

I hope

I awoke to see her head upon my chest.
Her eyes were open looking into mine. 
We did not speak. 
Yet in the silence of her heart she said to me "have no fear, nor any worry,
 I trust you and I believe in you".

I felt calm then. 
For on the outside, a world of uncertainty awaited me. 
All the self reliance I had and that I used as my pillar of strength, 
it was slowly beginning to crack and my steps beginning to falter.

With these my faith waned and I found myself a prisoner of my circumstance, 
which no man wishes to become. 
But in that moment she gave me faith.

Just then I awoke. 
I was in the opposite position on my bed, 
with my head to the wall and the sun to my feet.

I wish the dream did not have to end, but it had to. 
Although I wished I had more time with her, 
I couldn't remember her face, 
yet I felt her calming presence with me.

I think this angel was sent to inspire me. 
To let me know that there was someone out there who has an unconditional faith in me.

In the exact same way I feel the same way about her.
I hope we can at least cross paths one day. 
I hope she's real.